DV's Qs, Ts and As: Your Last Will and Testament

The greatest funeral ever. Handsome Boy Modeling School would perform. There would be caviar, steaks, lobster, and champagne. A statue would be erected in my honor on the moon.

I'd donate 20 Million to DV to make a small comedy film.

if i dont die penniless, i want to be buried with all of my money in a clear acrylic casket that will be put on display in a homeless shelter. You know, to motivate them to turn their life around.

or donate it all to leona helmsly's dog.

hahaha! That bitch! Which one? The bowf of them.

i like your statue on the moon idea Oscar but I think I would have my visage blasted into the moon so as it can be seen from earth. Is that too much?

I will be cremated on a billion dollar fire, just like the Jedi's before me.

Melissa knows that this goes against her usual super bitch persona but she would donate the money to programs that help the working class people in the US who can't afford health care. Melissa feels its sad that people who work hard just to make ends meet can't afford to take care of themselves or their families because the health care costs are ridiculous in this country. Health insurance companies should feel very ashamed because they are horrible bastards. Of course that's assuming there are actual human beings that work there in the first place.

Oscar likes where your head's at Chris! I mean you're a billionaire, so why not?

or how about this? put all my money on the line for a winner take all battle royale to the death!!!! A no holds barred grudge match for anyone willing to die and or kill for my money! It must be televised and goofy running man costumes are required.

I'd leave all my money to my "dogs" also. You know why? Cuz, chris is my dog, oscar's my dog, whale's my dog, lukas is my puppy, Killer and Hitman, they my dogs, JOMO his my mutt, Jibsons a dog, Macgruber's a dog in cats clothing, DV is the pound..................you get my drift.............I bequeth all of you all of my "FETTI!!!!


Peace, have a drunken great weekend!!!! thx. for the fireworks @ 2am Oscar! LOL

Mel's one of Mattys dogs too, she get most of my chedder!!

hey melissa. BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!

True Melissa. Oscar cut a small chunk of his finger tip off a few months ago. It was bleeding like hell. Oscar panicked but didn't go to get stitches ($$$). Oscar applied pressure for over an hour and smeared tons of neosporin.

Oscar woke up and his hand felt wet. blood. Rinse, wash, and repeat.

Thanks Matty, Melissa loves cheddar.

LMAO @ Matty! Thanks for bequeffing me of all that FETTI!

@ Chris

Melissa wasn't trying to be exciting just honest, that's what she would do with her money if she didn't have anyone to leave it to. Sorry it didn't live up to your high standards of entertainment.

ps someone must dig up richard dawson so he can host my running man battle royale

take it easy melissa. we are all friends here. very honorable of you, but DV might not be the appropriate place to bare your soul if snide comments from jerks like me hurt your feelings.

"only in a rerun" is one of the greatest lines in cinema history. Also "here is subzero...now...plain Zero"

is jesse ventura dead from 'roids yet or is he still running minnesota? either way his involvement is also vital.

Oscar, a couple yrs back I cut my finger changing a turn signal bulb in my fucked up Volvo.........LONG story.....didn't have insurance........even LONGER story, but 750 dollars later I had 6 stitches in my finger. shitfuck!!

Oscar - AWESOME!!!!!

Im out for reelz this time...........but I'll check back in later (when I'm drunk and baked)

@Chris

You didn't hurt Melissa's feelings, if you had, you'd definately know. Besides Melissa isn't sure that hurting her feelings is even possible, she's one tough bitch. Just don't try calling her a bitch, she hits.

Later Matty! Have some drink and smoke for ME!!!!!!!!

Word up & signing off.

Melissa, you're a BI..BIT.. I can finish it. I'm scared.

peace out Matty

Melissa is changing her mind about what she'd do with her money....if the chicks in her office don't turn off the easy listening love songs soon she's going to kill herself now and leave the money to Hitman to take them all out!!!!!


Melissa is turning up her music now in an effort to drown out fucking Celine Dion for the 12th time this afternoon. Melissa needs a drink.

Its time for me to bounce as well. My banana cognac smoothy is getting warm. Happy and safe 4th everyone!

Later Chris, be goodish!

So long Matty and Chris.

Set up a trust fund for the hundred cats I would probably have, then hire an assassin to kill Tyra Banks.

Ben would hire gnomes to sneak around at night while everyone is sleeping and tattoo his name on the inside of their eyelids. Then Ben would never be forgotten, like that motherfucking hobby horse.

Matty donates 100 mil. to fund Bears obviously hatred for T. Banks!!

Bear, if you need more $$ for the task....just ask!

BTW...4:20!

i would leave it all to paris hilton so she could continue her glorious debauchery...yeah.
and melissa, i agree with your assessment of health insurance companies...and i'm coming from a physician's point of view

the hitman will be rollin in fetti with the amount of killing he will have to do.

as for hitman, he would set up a school for assassins to carry on his legacy.

coughhhhh, gaasp...Chris.."The Hitman"...ssttttepp.forward....andddd....KIIIIIIIIIIIILLL!!!

Amazing...I seemed to see she had a personal account on the wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M for hot guys and girls to hook up for Hot Love and Sexy Dating. Her blog was updated very often. Lots of guys joined in her friend circle there.

Tomy, I bet plenty of guys went in her "circle"

I often updated her circle, catch my wiff Tomy!!

yes half to DV and half to poorer people, id set up some charity to give to people in need, but it would be an anonymous thing, there wouldnt be anyone "applying" for my charity, it would check bank records and if people are low and overdraft, they would suddenly get a large deposit of money in their account. (i actually know someone that this happened to, they never found out who helped them out)

Where my dogs at?!

Woof woof!

WOOF! woof! WOOF!

give it all to the old hooker home.....just for you grandma, just for you.